I think I’ve stumbled across a solution to our current problems in the wake of the insurrection at the Capitol last week. As has been reported in the last couple of days, the FBI has issued a memo warning that armed ‘protestors’ are planning demonstrations/assaults on all 50 state capitols and the Capitol in Washington, D. C. This is all a result of Trump refusing to accept the results of the last election and he and his enablers’ continuing effort to disseminate false information about ‘rigged elections’ and ‘voter fraud.’ This whole mess has been very stressful for all involved and the entire country. It has been very costly in both lives and property and certainly in America’s reputation. It might have also set the precedent that we will never have a peaceful and uncontested election again. I have a better idea.
Everyone understands that national elections are complicated and costly. And certainly, the Electoral College adds a level of complication in this country that is really unnecessary in today’s world. So, I suggest that we just do away with presidential elections and implement the ‘Presidential Games’, a kind of ‘capture the flag’ game every four years instead. This could be viewed as a cross between ‘Hunger Games’ and ‘Game of Thrones.’
Every four years, the Republicans and the Democrats, would select a team of well-trained and heavily armed people. Let’s just say for the sake of argument that each side is allowed 10 people per state so each side would have 500 people. We would send all of these people into the ‘arena’ with the objective of winning this mini-civil war. The winner would be determined when all of the participants on the opposing side have been slaughtered. Surrender is simply not an option. The winning team would then have the ability to choose the president for the next four years until the next set of games! Brilliant!
I’m sure are those that would say that this is all fine but we don’t need the guns and all of the carnage that would follow. I would simply point out that there seems to be a large number of people in this country who are very fond of weapons and violence, so I think unarmed combatants just wouldn’t be as appealing or convincing. I think this needs to be a fight to the death. Look, it’s just a few hundred lives. We have already lost about 380,000 lives to a little pandemic so a few hundred lives lost for a good cause seems like a small price to pay – right?
It wouldn’t be hard to find a venue because I’m sure Senator Josh Hawley or Senator Ted Cruz would be more than happy to persuade their respective states to set aside a few thousand acres for ‘The Presidential Games.’ The whole thing could be broadcast on television. It would be a true ‘made for TV’ event. I can only imagine that the ratings would be through the roof.
Doing things this way would solve a number of current problems. It would eliminate the interminable stream of political ads running up to an election because they would have no longer have any bearing on the outcome. Instead, companies and political parties could focus on ads during the “games” that would be more entertaining, kind of like the Super Bowl ads. Further, it would eliminate the problem of corporations pouring millions of dollars into political campaigns. There would be no point. Each side, the Republicans and Democrats would simply train and equip their respective teams and that would be it. No need for corporate or PAC dollars. I’m sure we could find a way to fund ‘The Presidential Games’ with tax dollars because we’d be saving millions by eliminating the old-style elections.
The other big advantage is that the results would be known immediately! Once all of the 500 members of one team had been killed, it would be ‘game over.’ A clear winner – no room for argument.
At the beginning of the games there could be a lot of pomp and circumstance that would be very entertaining. Hollywood A-listers would perform during the opening ceremonies. It could be a truly magnificent event.
Employers would be required to give employees the time off to be able to watch the games so everyone would get a vacation during the ‘election.’ And better still, they wouldn’t have to worry about filling out some silly ballot and getting it returned to some polling place. They could just get some popcorn and a drink and sit in front of the TV until it was over.
The selection process for the 10 team members from each state could be a whole TV show as well, perhaps like ‘American Ninja Warrior’, except it would be ‘American Election Warrior.’ This could be conducted the year before the elections so there would be time to train the combatants before ‘election game day.’
I really think this has a lot of merit. I wonder why no one has thought of this before. There are, however, a couple of pitfalls. There is always the chance that one team or the other, once in power, will not agree to engage again in the games four years later. However, I suspect the spectacle surrounding the games will become so popular that it will be difficult for one party to decline to participate. It’s hard to imagine either party wanting to deprive the American electorate of this spectacle.
The other problem I see is that I’m not sure how this would translate into lower- level elections in local jurisdictions. Perhaps those will just be two people mud-wrestling in front of bar. Given the uncivil tone that comes out of most of our elections these days, that wouldn’t be too big a change anyway!
Yes, I think ‘The Presidential Games’ will solve a lot of our problems. If you’ll excuse me, I have to go see if I can lock up the TV rights.
P.S. Just a little teaser. The link below is to a story about Trump’s bank, Deutsche Bank, which has a long history of paying fines for money laundering and paying bribes.
Deutsche Bank agrees to pay $130 million in latest major US penalty – ICIJ
I believe if the President is impeached and convicted that all his enablers in Congress should face the same penalty.