In ‘celebration’ of the 4th of July, I have taken the liberty of rewriting the first two paragraphs of the Declaration of Independence to reflect the current philosophy of the Republican Party which appears to have abandoned the Declaration of Independence and the U.S. Constitution in favor of a new document, the Declaration of Control. [The text of the first two paragraphs of the original Declaration of Independence is at the end of this post.]
Declaration of Control
The unanimous Declaration of the Republican Party, When in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with the Constitution, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature’s God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind required that they should declare the causes which impel them to seize control by any means required – legal or illegal.
We do not believe that it is self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. That to ensure these rights are not secured, Republicans are intent on controlling Men, deriving their powers by rigging elections and suppressing votes. That whenever any Form of Government disagrees with Republican philosophy, it is the Right of Republicans to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such Big Lies and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to affect their retention of Power and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will not dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly, all experience hath shewn, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations are alleged to have occurred regardless of factual evidence to the contrary, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute allegations of Democratic Socialism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for the future security and retention of power by the White race. Such has been the impatient sufferance of these Republicans; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Government via gerrymandering, voter suppression laws and a concerted effort to undermine future elections by propagating lies regarding voter fraud. The history of the present King of Mar a Lago is a history of repeated lies and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these States. To enable this, Republicans will deny all Facts submitted to a candid world and kneel in supplication to the King of Mar a Lago.
Happy 4th of July!!
Original text of the Declaration of Independence.
In Congress, July 4, 1776
The unanimous Declaration of the thirteen united States of America, When in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature’s God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.
We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.–That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, –That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security.–Such has been the patient sufferance of these Colonies; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Government. The history of the present King of Great Britain is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these States. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.